Done! (Or as done as I can be atm)

Just sent off the latest draft! which is hopefully the next-to-last draft! (Don't worry about my not hitting 60,000 words exactly; that was just an estimate anyway.)

I really wanted (and expected) to get this done 24 freaking hours ago. For some reason, I've been horrible at estimating how long the revising will take. (To be fair, I did add about 20 pages of new material in the last week and a half. That's the net number of new pages I ended up with. Who knows how much I deleted.) It took me ages to work on conclusions, and some sections just made me want to shut down my brain for the day. Which is sort of what I did, but in pieces. I'd take a look, tweak a sentence, maybe write a whole paragraph, then I'd walk away for a distraction -- 2048, Twitter, Facebook, Cumberbatch news, even TV and a movie. I don't think it was just lack of sleep that made me so distractible, although of course that probably contributed. I had to move around a lot, taking my laptop with me to the couch, to the countertop so I could stand while typing, to the dining table with the uncomfortable chairs, and back again. I even accidentally scraped my thigh (a little blood, even) without realizing it. I didn't figure it out until it started stinging from sweat (yeah, it's kinda hot over here this summer).

Anyway, long story short, this was the weirdest writing session I've ever had. Stupidly, I made plans for this morning, while all I want to do is sleep. It's not worth canceling, though, since my son will probably be awake in a couple of hours anyway. Well, at least I can get those couple of hours. Nighty-night! *yawn*

xo, Gladys

Slowly but Surely

So I'm reading what I wrote in my last chapter to see what needs revision, and I'm a little disturbed that I don't remember writing parts of it. I mean, it's the chapter I wrote most recently, not quite two months ago, so you'd think my memory of it would be better. At least it isn't bad writing. But man, I must have been half asleep when I was trying to finish it. Or maybe what's happening here is that, feeling brain-dead the way I have been for several weeks now, I'm shocked that I was so articulate just a few weeks earlier.

Anyway, still slowly chipping away at it. Not sure if I'll finish before noon today but at least I don't have to edit much more. I should be done sometime today. I've decided to be zen about the rest of it and not stress (too much) about all of the little things I can't get to. As I've been told, "a good dissertation is a done dissertation."

I managed to get half an hour of sleep earlier, but surprisingly I'm not feeling like a total zombie ... yet. My dear friend E offered to babysit my son for quite a few hours (no mean feat since she's got three of her own), which was super helpful. I'm deeply thankful for my family and friends who are being so generous with babysitting and so supportive of me. I couldn't do this without them, and that's a fact.

xo, Gladys

Still at It

Not gonna lie. There should be a cartoon writer with tears and maybe sweat streaming, pouring down its face. I'm not really crying (only a little bit), but it's almost outrageous how long this is taking. I honestly thought the draft I had to revise was basically finished. Either I was wrong or my brain is really slow this month. Maybe both.

So I had promised to get this latest draft in to my advisers by today or tomorrow. Well, today sure as hell ain't happening (I haven't slept), and tomorrow is iffy because of how long each chapter is taking to revise. Not quite done with the third chapter and I still have one more chapter to go, which is the one that needs the most help. Plus I have to finish the introduction, conclusion, and acknowledgments (which is arguably one of the hardest things to write). Argh. Argh argh argh.

Anyway, sorry to keep complaining about this project, but it honestly helps to write these quick missives. I get some of the whine out of my system and I'm a little freer to go back to the dissertation with an open mind.

xo, Gladys

Now Writing Gibberish

That is all.

Wait, that's not all: I need more sleep.

Also, revising is evil. Thank you, that is all.

xo, Gladys

At Work

"Gladys working on her dissertation"
Fun progress meter found here

Argh. I honestly wanted to come back here and share photos of my Yellowstone vacation with you. I still might, eventually. But that post (which requires me to spend a chunk of time editing the photos) has to give way to finishing my dissertation, which is due very, very soon.

The dissertation is almost finished, but I'm at that point where I'm so close to yet too far from being done. That's me above right now, freaking out over how to wrangle this thing that is, yes, metaphorically sticking its tongue out at me. I sent away my husband and son to Legoland for today and tomorrow, but I've seriously wasted the day doing chores and getting on the Internet (damn you, Benedict Cumberbatch, why are you always doing something in front of cameras looking shockingly gorgeous like a real-life Michelangelo sculpture!). I have so many ideas and notes that I have to incorporate, but I haven't been able to bring myself to go through this damn thing again. Though it's not as long as many dissertations I've seen, my brain is no longer in shape so I get tired quickly these days (okay, I'm just getting old). I want to honor the feedback I was generously given by a fantastic group of readers, including my committee members who are the ones that need to sign off on the thesis, but at the same time I just want to be DONE. Feel me?

Anxiously yours,

Gladys

{On a more serious, somber note, I've been following the horrific events in Gaza. With the world training its eyes on the killing and maiming and terrorizing of children, women, and men under occupation in that part of the world, I can't help but think of the connections with my own work right now. Although my project looks at American colonialism in the Philippines in the early 20th century, empire and militarism look similar everywhere, anytime.}